So Hard To Say Goodbye

Animated flag of Nigeria. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As of today I have exactly 2 weeks left in Nigeria and as you can imagine I am very excited to go home. However, after my last post “Frustrated American” I feel it is only right that I exit with a positive outlook for the country. Why? Well, as I stated in my very first post back in June 2012 “in order not to perpetuate The “Danger of a Single Story”, I want to be sure that you don’t take my 1 experience and shape a one sided view of the country but that you have the opportunity to explore different sides.”

Through my posts I hope I have provided insight into the country, a different view from all of the insecurity that is shown in the media but I also hope that readers were able to experience some of my adventures with me. Now, as with everything in life there is good and bad and I want to leave providing a good and lasting taste about Nigeria. Below I have listed some things that I know I will miss. Note, some of the things I appreciate just because of personal lifestyle differences so you may not understand.

Things I will miss (no particular order):
1. Yahuza Chicken Suya

2. The ability to walk to and from work from my apartment

3. Never having plans but always finding myself busy (dinner with friends, movies etc.)

4. How complimentary men and women are (I always tell women…if you have low confidence in your appearance come to Nigeria people here will make you feel like you are the most beautiful person in the world)

5. The relaxed work environment (although at times this is frustrating)

6. If I do not walk in my neighborhood (work or apartment) people notice so when they do see me they ask “how far?” and where you dey, you dey travel?”

7. How anything and everything is possible in Naija (not really a good thing but convenient when you need contacts lens with no prescription, gas but don’t want to stop at gas station, a job but is not qualified, etc.)

8. The convenience of everything and anything being sold on the street. Don’t really need to go to a store or market for much just go to nearest corner and get whatever; a pedicure, food, phone charger, etc.

9. Walking in a salon without an appointment and being immediately serviced

10. Getting braids, including wash, for less than $40 (any style)

11. Having a security guard/gate man that will get whatever I need whenever (if I a hungry but don’t want to leave the house he will get it, if my sheets need washing but I don’t feel like hand washing or taking them to get washed he will do it)

12. Being able to step onto the street and get a taxi (don’t need to call and schedule a taxi, can’t do this in all states/cities back in the U.S.)

13. Feeling a part of the “majority” population instead of the “minority” (not being the only or few blacks)

14. The small church I attend where everyone (including the pastor) notices a new comer and makes sure to speak and see how you are doing

I am sure there is more but that is all I can think of now…

 

Frustrated American

Representing my country at the same time accessorizing my hair.

I am about 6 weeks out from ending this journey and returning to the U.S. And I can honestly say that I am so ready to go home. If I could leave tomorrow I would. Which is an interesting feeling considering my overall pleasant experience.

I started this journey 11 months ago as of June 1st. When I started I was eager, anxious and scared. But a week before stepping on the plane to a country unknown called Nigeria, I was surprisingly calm and at peace with my decision. I understood that there would be ups and downs but I was excited to face the highs and lows of starting a new life.

Since my departure from the U.S., or I should say ‘America’ since most people don’t understand when I say U.S., I have truly enjoyed my Nigerian experience, embracing the relaxed environment, hot days and toasters (Nigerians know what I mean by ‘toasters’) with my fair share of gloomy days. Days of missing my mom, American music, American food, etc.

I know that my recent dip in health is contributing to my longing for that place called America, the place with consistent power supply and water, access to fast internet, dependable cell phone networks, etc. Nevertheless, my ever increasing strong desire to be home is making everything that didn’t bother me before frustrate me now. Like:

People run businesses but NEVER have change (i.e., the taxi ride is 250 naira and the driver owes you 50 naira in change but conveniently doesn’t have it). It is just a ploy to get more money for the service/product. But as a company how do they settle the financial books (this happens is stores too)?

Repeating myself a million times because you don’t understand me. DAMNIT, I am speaking english. You know the national language here.

Hand washing my clothes…I exercise between 4-6 days a week I don’t need this!

Getting dressed just to sweat through my clothes.

Not being able to ‘easily’ get a fresh salad to eat with more than cabbage, carrots and mayonnaise.

Everything being cooked in Palm Oil or prepared with fish

Men not understanding that when I say no or I don’t want to talk to you that I mean it and they don’t need to keep asking or be persistent (when asking for my number or to be my ‘friend’).

Going to a bathroom and there is no tissue or running water.

People accusing me, through continued questions or body language, of lying about being an American. I know we look alike but until I have my complete lineage researched and proven I cannot claim your nationality. There are other African countries that could be my home.

Overall inefficiency.

Frustrated American….

 

“My Pockets Ain’t Empty Cuz”

Remember that line from the movie 2 Fast 2 Furious? When Paul Walker and Tyrese Gibson were walking away with pockets full of money they took. That is exactly the line I think of when I see all the fancy cars that drive around this city (Abuja, Nigeria). I know most people may not think money when they think about any country in Africa, even if you consider the oil within the continent. This is the 2nd time I have visited the continent and the 3rd African country I have explored yet I was still surprised, with the amount of money and how they display it, that the wealthy has (please understand that the wealthy is a small percentage of the Nigerian population). When I first arrived it was almost daily that I encountered a Rolls Royce, Canary Yellow Lamborghini, Porsche Carrera GT, etc. Eventually, I just thought “this is the capital/government city, it is just all of the politicians showing off.” Well, I hung out in Lagos this past weekend (former capital of Nigeria) and once again I was overwhelmed with all of the cars that I saw (mainly on Victoria Island, which is regarded as the ‘posh’ part of the city). Everyone says the social scene in Lagos is like no other and they were truly correct. I definitely enjoyed my time out as well as seeing the Bentley’s and Benz CL65’s that were pulling in and out of club parking lots and driving around the city.

(I wasn’t able to get pics of all the fancy cars)

Now we have cars like this on the streets in the U.S. but you don’t see them on a daily basis just cruising down the street in ‘Chicago’ type traffic (at least not where I live and grew up). I am sure there are cities like LA or New York where it is a bit more common but even so U.S. traffic has nothing on Naija and I would be EXTRA pissed if someone dented, tapped or even got to close to my half a million dollar car. But who am I kidding, I can’t say that I would even buy a car that cost that much even if I had it (if you see me in 10 years in a Maybach don’t judge me!)

Nevertheless, this country has money there is no doubt about that and the people here love to show it off whether it be their cars, homes, clothes, etc. But as I mentioned it is a very small percentage of those that are ‘wealthy’. I wanted to share this post with you to give you a different view of an African country. It is more than the starving children and ruins that is shown in the media and infomercials. If you remember my very first post titled Preparation (if not click on Archives and take a look) there is ‘The Danger Of A Single Story’ so I want to provide you with another story. Now, I am not saying that this country doesn’t need help because their pockets are full because they do need the help but don’t assume that they are poor, helpless and clueless. Just like America has its issues so does Nigeria and it never hurts to get a little AA (aid and assistance).

I am here to help get the non-wealthy closer to a point where they can also say “And we ain’t hungry no more either!”

 

Check Me Out Part 2

To mark the upcoming International Women’s Day (8th March)

http://www.businessfightspoverty.org/profiles/blogs/candace-dixon-the-vso-accenture-volunteer-helping-nigerian-female

Farmer I work with

 

My Birthday Wish

So everyone has been asking me ‘what do I want’ or ‘what will I do’ to celebrate my birthday. Well, I thought this year I would start a new tradition with myself (with the help of a friend). I have decided to celebrate my birthday by doing something for others. Now if you know me, you know that I often volunteer and have been doing so since I was in middle school; therefore, helping others is not a foreign concept to me but I never thought about doing it to celebrate my life, my blessings, my ability to give. This year on the 15th February I joined a friend and we donated to and visited a local orphanage. When we arrived the children were receiving their daily lesson (can’t remember if it is was math or english). We quietly waited for them to finish then they came to sing happy birthday and study our presence. The children ranged in ages from 3-9 (my guess) and they were very well-mannered. We cut the birthday cake with them but they were not allowed to eat until they finished their dinner, which they were served as we were leaving.

Our donations were small in the form of washing detergent, cheese balls, biscuits (cookies) and indomie (instant noodles similar to ramen noodles) but it felt good to do it. So when it comes to My Birthday Wish, I ask that you give your time and/or money to help someone else. Don’t have any ideas? Well, you can give your money to help me raise funds for CUSO International volunteers. What they do: CUSO is an international development organization that works through volunteers (like me!) to fight global poverty. They recruit and support volunteers from North America in placements with non-profits in Africa, Asia, and Central/S. America. Many people have expressed their admiration for what I have chosen to do over the last 7.5 months; move to a foreign land and volunteer my time to help others. I understand that it takes a bowl of courage to pack up your things and start a different life and although many are not able to ‘pick up and go’ there are still ways to help, like financially supporting people who are able to ‘pick up and go’. I have only reached 16% of my goal and I really need your help to finish what I started. By donating from my page you can help me raise the remaining 74%. It only takes one click! Donate Now. Also check out more about CUSO International who recently opened an office in Washington D.C. so there may be an opportunity for you.

If you are not able to give financially please don’t feel left out. Time can be more valuable than money. I ask that you find a local cause centered around young people and give your time. Volunteer to help them in whatever capacity that you can offer. Be an example to them; someone does care and will take the time to teach/guide them. Do you remember the person that made such a great impact on your life? They may have only been around for a moment or maybe a lifetime but they made a difference. Become that someone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Officially, the 24th February.

Children receiving their daily lesson

She was really trying to see what was in my bag

Singing happy birthday

Cutting the cake

DID YOU KNOW?
On the Obudu mountain in Cross River State it gets really, really cold at night and in the mornings. Seriously, in this tropical country there are places that make you wish you had a sweater, socks and log pants to sleep in.

 

VSO Nigeria-Check Me Out (page 9)

Voice October 2012 copy

 

Weekend At The Farm

The first weekend in November I planned a trip to visit a farm for volunteers here in Nigeria, the first time I visited the farm was for work and I really enjoyed it so I thought it would be cool to get people together for a weekend to check it out. For those that do not know I am a Knowledge Manager for VSO Nigeria and I work with other non-government organizations (NGO). The specific program or area I support with the NGOs is secured livelihoods, primarily with agriculture. Therefore, I work with/for farmers making sure they have a process and tools to share information about farming best practices to increase income (or secure their livelihood). Anyway, that is what brought me to the farm in the first place. So I returned as promised with 11 volunteers ready for a weekend of fun and exploring.

Now you must know that at home in the U.S. I don’t really camp, hike or anything like it but I figured why not. The farm has 2 hostels on the premises and each has about 10 rooms with double beds. The place is powered by generators and there is no running water, it is fetched from the local man made damn for cooking and cleaning. There is 1 bathroom with 3 stalls for showering and pooping (I didn’t know what other word to use). You may be thinking why would I go here for a weekend of fun, like I said ‘why not’. The farmers were amazing. They prepared the hostel for our arrival by making the beds, putting up mosquito nets, fetching water, fueling the generator, preparing meals, they even got a projector and screen for us to have an outdoor movie night and gathered wood for a bonfire (we ended up not doing the fire…wood burning making heat in an already hot place…good idea but maybe not). For those that enjoy the outdoors and all of its natural setting, this was ideal. Eating dinner under the stars, and there were millions that you could see so clearly…I remember when I was young thinking that the moon was just the sun but at night…lol

The young people were performing for us.

I haven’t had pork (with the exception of bacon) since I have been here….I spotted that pig immediately. Oh, I wanted to take him down….

Boiling water for those that want a hot shower (bucket bath, all the same)

Digging out yam

Yam

Well, we also visited a local community that put on a traditional dance for us, they invited us into their huts welcoming us with open arms, we visited a local market, learned about medicinal farming and ate lunch at a local restaurant. Everyone was kind other than the few that wanted to know what we brought for them…The farmers even taught me how to harvest yam (like a potato but bigger) and try to balance a pot on my head (next I need to get someone to show me how to tie a baby on my back). It was a good HOT weekend.

I told you it was hot

Volunteers, Farmers and YMCA Staff

DID YOU KNOW?

Eating goat’s head is like eating grissle (however, you spell it). It was interesting to say the least but I was eating it in the dark which was probably for the best but imagine feeling it…some parts felt like the noise, ears, etc… But yep I ate it. It wasn’t bad but next time I suggest people not telling me what it is until after. FYI, it is chopped up and served in a bowl, I was afraid they were going to bring the skull to the table.

P.S. I updated the Things I Do In Nigeria post with a few more things at the top of the list….check it out.

 

Things I Do In Nigeria

I know it has been a while since my last post…. During this time I have had some good and interesting experiences but I will catch you up on those some other time. For now I was thinking about things I do/have been faced with in Nigeria that I don’t do or wouldn’t do back at home in the U.S. and I thought I would share a few.

1. Carry toilet paper and soap because bathrooms seem to alway lack these vital things (private or public)
2. Immediately turn away when I see someone standing or squatting to the side because they are more than likely using the bathroom in the open
3. Say “come down” when I want someone to get out the car
4. Drive past a cop that is pointing at you to pull over (to be fair I was not the driver).
5. Start off the work day with devotion (everyone gathers in meeting room, reads the bible and sing). This can be very discriminating..
6. Determine the best way to flush a toilet with limited water supply (be mindful of the water situation before you poop and when it is that time of the month).
7. Take 2 showers a day (it is rainy season, I know the # will only increase during the dry season).
8. Eat meat that is so tough that my teeth cannot break it down, forced to swallow beef the size of a golf ball…no napkin around (Nigerians love tough meat, who wants to fight with their food..I don’t understand).
9. Work from 8-4:30 (at home I work extremely long days, I am enjoying this change).
10. Sleep on a bed with a mattress that is so hard the floor would be more comfortable (this was at a hotel).
11. Be asked if I am ok with sharing a bed with my boss for 1 night.
12. Take a 1-2 hour work break because the office power/generator needs to be turned off to save fuel.
13. Hand wash my clothes, sheets, etc.
14. Go outside with my hair in plats (I even go to work like this sometimes).
15. Go to the club in flats (1 of the clubs almost didn’t let me in because of my flats).
16. Prepay for electricity that works when it wants to.
17. Flip the water heater switch whenever I need hot water (can’t just turn the faucet on).
18. Negotiate my taxi rides.
19. Eat when I am not hungry (well, I do that at home but not because someone is forcing me to).

DID YOU KNOW?

October 1st is Nigeria’s Independence Day…HOLIDAY for me on Monday!

 

No Limit Soldier

For a fellow volunteer’s birthday we chose to have dinner at Abacha Barracks, a ‘point n kill’ restaurant. I have had ‘point n kill’ fish at 2 different gardens and 1 was particularly awesome (Prelude Garden in Area 11) but I kept hearing of Abacha Barracks so nevertheless I was excited to finally have dinner there. With no traffic, the taxi ride is about 15 minutes away and once we arrived I noticed that the place is really an outdoor market (however, a bit more structured similar to what Bayshore Mall or Atlantic Station would look like in a less developed community). We walked through the market and immediately selected a tent with music to sit and eat. As I turned around and allowed my eyes to do a scan of my surroundings I realized that the center of the section we were in had a structure similar to a gazebo with many grills lined around it displaying whole fish seasoned with pepe and many other herbs and women sitting around waiting, grilling and chatting. Now, in north america we select, cook and serve our fish in fillets (generally speaking) so to see fish displayed everywhere on grills, whiskers and all I thought this is a good photo opportunity….I pulled out my camera to take a picture and the lady manning the grill looked at me with an evil eye and moved away to ensure I didn’t get her in the photo. I thought that was odd but maybe she just didn’t want to be in a stranger’s picture that could end up anywhere (Facebook, Blog, T.V.,etc).

Anyway, I tell my friends that I am going exploring and I will return when it is time to eat. I go out into the market on my own and notice a shop where men were ironing clothes (like a dry cleaners), a vintage shoe store and a small take away place. The take away place had a barrel grill with some type of meat on top, I thought the grill was a cool example of how barrel grills can be used so I decided to take another picture. After the flash the man grilling the meat looked at me with the same evil eye and began speaking to me but I couldn’t understand, I stopped listening as I heard another gentleman behind me talking and asking me for my name and if I could understand. I politely asked him to repeat the question and answered with my name. As I walked away (realizing he wanted my name, number, home country, etc.) I looked back at the man grilling the meat and noticed a woman now standing next to him that motioned for me to come over to her. Since I didn’t understand what the griller was saying and I didn’t want him to think I took a picture of him I followed directions and walked over to the woman. She asked me what I was taking a picture of and I responded. She instructed me to show her the photo so I turned on my camera and showed her since I was trying to be sensitive to the fact that the people here really don’t like their pictures to be taken (at least that is what I was thinking).

The woman started to reach for my camera and I moved it away asking “why are you trying to touch my camera” she replies “I want to see the pictures” I followed up with “but you don’t need to touch my camera to see the photos, I am showing you” she said “I want to see the rest” so I showed her the 1 other photo from the market and said “the rest are personal photos. I am not taking pictures of anyone out here just the food. Anyway, who are you?” now I am getting frustrated. She looked at me and said “security”, I replied “security for what? I am just a tourist and you should be able to see with your eyes not your hands on my camera” as we both walked away from each other.

Now, one thing for sure is Nigeria’s ‘security’ wears a uniform and carries loaded riffles and other guns so I know she was not security, just a woman pretending to be a ‘No Limit Soldier’ that didn’t think this American Girl would get ‘BUCK’ with her! In the words of oscar winner Viola Davis from the movie ‘The Help’ the woman thought “you are kind, you are sweet,… so I can get over on her” and I am but please don’t test me or try to touch my stuff.

Anyway, I headed back to our tent as the rain started to pour and selected the fish we wanted (hence the term ‘point n kill’, you should see how they gut the fish…gross but this place didn’t actually do the killing in front of you like other gardens). Long story short the fish was ok; Prelude is still better in my opinion, but we had a good time. We ate, danced and laughed all in the rain. My friend Heather even made 10 naira for shaking her bum…note, that barely buys a piece of gym around Abuja. lol

 

House Washing

Yesterday my roommates and I planned to have a “house washing”. A house washing is what I normally call a “house warming” but in Nigeria it is a washing. We invited VSO staff, volunteers and locals. We got ready throughout the week purchasing biscuits (cookies), pop (bitter sweet, like sprite), etc… I even made sure we would have some Nigerian music to play (requesting Mckinley to bring her playlist). So of course I was excited when I woke up Sunday expecting to have a nice day.

In good spirits I started my Sunday off attending church with one of my roommates and one of the VSO staff (she picked us up to attend her church). I was excited to go but a bit reluctant because in my mind Christian churches in Africa (Baptist, Protestant, etc.) are very traditional (although I have never been to one before) and I prefer a more modern delivery of the word. To my surprise I thoroughly enjoyed the service and it was more modern than I could have hoped for. The sermon was about “The Law of Faith: How to Get Results”. I especially enjoyed the delivery, the pastor was charismatic and inviting; he may have been a comedian in his former life. lol He made the statement “don’t confuse activities with results”, which really struck a cord with me but I will allow you to draw your own interpretation.

Nevertheless, after service we returned home and began preparing for the gathering. Keeping in my that Ramadan started this weekend we didn’t plan to have to much food trying to be considerate but wanted a few options for those that were not fasting. Overall, I think the party was a success. We broke bread together, played games (some people are really competitive, I will be sure to be on their team next time), listened to music and made new friends. The only thing missing was a Spades game and a clean house…lol. No one helped sweep, mop or wash dishes so why is it called house washing….A clean good time!

Quote of the Week

“You are hot”… I know self indulging. LOL, we all need that sometime.

As mentioned on my ‘Home’ page…The views expressed in this blog are my own and do not reflect those of Cuso International or VSO.